Bandito Help:

What the hell is Bandito?
Who the hell writes Bandito?
How to enjoy Bandito:
How to participate in Bandito:
How to add to what Bandito says
How to make Bandito's text link to somewhere
How to make Kitty say something
How to make Kitty's text link to somewhere
How to make a specific background show up in my trouble
How to make awesome hash browns
How to make my own background
How to contact the creators of bandito
THE BANDITO MANIFESTO

What the hell is Bandito?

Bandito is an interactive single panel cartoon. Anyone with the appropriate sickness can be a Bandito Contributer. It started as an experiment dreamed up in 2003 by known pervert Roger Kenny (aka King Otho of Buffalo Fame, aka Senor Arriba Mal). The goal, to piss off as many people as possible, as fast as possible. Also, to have Bandito some day pass the infamous Turing Test. Bandito quickly became the hottest thing on the net [complete lie -Ed] and Roger soon tried to make money off of Bandito. Several attempts were made to whore Bandito out, making him give hand jobs to Japanese Businessmen for quarters. Soon after Bandito quit, ending his reign as King of the Internet [actually, the original Ripped Productions server account lapsed -Ed]. But Bandito's popularity just wouldn't quit. Two whole people just kept asking about him (both Japanese Businessmen) and so, after much negotiation, Bandito's back, and better than ever.
For a more detailed account of what the hell is Bandito, check out THE BANDITO MANIFESTO
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Who the hell writes Bandito?

The short answer? You. You all write Bandito you crazies. The slightly longer answer: At the time of this writing (4-7-05) most of the Banditos are written by creator Roger Kenny, and many of the rest are written by his girlfriend Jackie, and his close friends Dave Acevedo and Aaron Arnout, but the rest are written by all of you. That's right, you. Sattle up at the bandito webpage and write your heart out. Your words will live in infamy forever. Just like that other thing, you know, that lives in infamy... wait, that's not good... hey!
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How to enjoy Bandito:

Bandito is always here for you to grace you with all of his subtle insanity. I find it best to light a fire, open a bottle of Mad Dog 20-20, and click on the backdrop for a random slideshow of 20 seconds per trouble. For a faster slideshow, click on the SLIDESHOW control in the infobar. To view the latest trouble, click on the TROUBLES: # link in the infobar. To email a specific trouble to someone, right click (or Ctrl click) on the THIS ONE: # link and copy and paste it into an email. Use the << and >> links to navigate through the troubles. For all you crack smokers out there, You can have a conversation with bandito by saying something out loud, then clicking on bandito to read his randomly chosen answer. Also, clicking on Kitty will list all of the troubles bandito can say, in order. It is also quite enjoyable to add to Bandito. See below for more info.
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How to participate in Bandito:

You ARE Bandito! Take off that silly hat and moustache. There's no need for it (unless ofcourse if it's an official Bandito Brand Hat and Moustache).

How to add to what Bandito says

Make sure you're not viewing a slideshow, and then use the input boxes at the bottom of the screen to add a trouble to the list. Specifically the Bandito says: box. Click exfoliate, and you're in!
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How to make Bandito's text link to somewhere

How to make Kitty say something

Make sure you're not viewing a slideshow, and then use the input boxes at the bottom of the screen to add a trouble to the list. Type in something for Bandito to say in the Bandito says: box. Then type in something for Kitty to say into the cat says: box. Click exfoliate, and you're dynamite! Bandito always must say something, or you'll get an error. Convention is to use "..." when you don't want Bandito to say anything.
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How to make Kitty's text link to somewhere

Make sure you're not viewing a slideshow, and then use the input boxes at the bottom of the screen to add a trouble to the list. Type in something for Bandito to say in the Bandito says: box. Then type in something for Kitty to say into the cat says: box. Then type or paste in a URL into the meow, meow URL: box. Click exfoliate, and you're straight! Bandito always must say something, or you'll get an error. Convention is to use "..." when you don't want Bandito to say anything.
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How to make a specific background show up in my trouble

Normally, backgrounds are chosen by what is said. For instance, if you make bandito say "something something SALOON something something", the background will be the saloon background. Of course, that's leaving it up to chance that you'll get the background you want. You can optionally choose the background that will come up on your trouble. Make sure you're not viewing a slideshow, and then use the input boxes at the bottom of the screen to add a trouble to the list. Type in a background to use in the Backdrop: box. Accepted backdrops are "spring", "desert", "winter", and "moon". You may also enter the URL path to a backdrop you've designed yourself (see below). Click exfoliate, and you're pretty much there! Bandito always must say something, or you'll get an error. Convention is to use "..." when you don't want Bandito to say anything.
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How to make awesome hash browns

Place a frying pan with some oil over medium heat. Grate a potato. Once hot, place potato grating in a palm sized clump in the oil. Pat the clump down flat with a spatula. While frying, drizzle a little oil over the uncooked side. When edges are browned, flip the patty over (with a spatula!), and let it brown on the other side. Flip until desired browning is achieved. Salt to taste. Great with some eggs, with ketchup, or spicy mustard.
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How to make my own background

Making your own Bandito Background is simple and fun! Just follow these four steps:

Create the Sky and floortile images.
Upload them to the internet.
Use the url to the folder where you put the images as the backdrop in your Bandito.
Rob a bank, and give me the money.

Create the images

The basic Bandito background consists of two things, a sky image, and an array of floor images.
The sky image must be a 1000 pixel wide by 250 pixel high JPEG image named "backdrop0.jpg". Use this image as your guide:

The floor consists of 11 randomly chosen floortiles. Each tile is an 84 pixel wide by 25 pixel high GIF. These eleven images must be named "floortile0.gif" through "floortile10.gif". In order to tile properly, the images must have a transparent right and left sides, angled six pixels over and five pixels up. Use this image as your guide:

Upload the files to a server

You thought WE were hosting your files? Not bloody likely. Upload your files to a public folder on a web server. This can be a place where you serve your web pages, or a free server like PhotoBucket, whatever. Just as long as you can link to the images.

USE IT!

Add a trouble (see above), and use the URL to your the folder holding your images as the backdrop. URLs must be in the form "http://www.mywebsite.com/folder_with_images/". If you use PhotoBucket, your URL will look something like this: "http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y122/My_PhotoBucket_ID/". Congratulations, you just made the world a sicker place.
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